Meta Board Puts Zuckerberg in Timeout
Mark Zuckerberg has been put into a timeout by the Meta Board of Directors after completely eliminating the content review process. “He’s in some kind of a death spiral competiton with Musk to see who can drive away advertisers faster” said the Chairman of the Board. “It’s very important that we at least pretend to care about content. Now the cat is completely out of the bag!”
And in other disturbing news, Zuck was seen walking around the Meta campus in his headset, bumping into things and ranting “The Metaverse is Dead, Long Live the Metaverse!” “It was actually quite scary,” stated an employee. “A few of us had to prevent him from falling off the balcony into the atrium.”
The Meta Board has apparently convinced him to spend the next six months “on sabbatical.”
“It was really quite ingenious,” said a Board member who wished to remain anonymous. “We set up a fake lab where he could work to his hearts content with a group of actors we hired to pretend to be engineers. He seems to be having a blast.”
When asked if it was a bit scary that Zuck didn’t seem to notice that they weren’t actually engineers he replied “Yeah, well, there is that. But in all honesty he seems much more focused on whether or not the headset straps are ruining his new hairdo.”
